El Nino Spanish Terror

El Nino has arrived. Just who is El Nino? El Nino has been around since the beginning of time. He was a key player in the book of Revelations but he orderd his part be removed so he could have the element of surprise. He is rumored to be the fifth and most powerful horseman of the apocalypse. He can be seen here riding his burro. With the recent distruction that El nino has been responsible for, can the apocalypse be far behind? I think not. Please If you see El Nino or you have been vicimized by him buy a gun. Kill him the next time you see him. We must stop the apocalypse.

Look at this pic. It was taken in Brazil in mid July. The marine was on El Nino watch and had shoot to kill orders. As you can see El Nino still wrought his distruction.

El Nino has been directly linked to is somehow involved to the following:

  • Wind
  • Rain
  • Flooding
  • AIDS
  • E-Coli
  • Male Pattern Baldness
  • Teen Pregnancy
  • The Gout
  • High Taxes
  • Automatic Transmissions
  • Low recycling rates
  • Rush Limbaugh
  • Pat Robertson
  • Satan Worship
  • Kathie Lee Gifford
  • Leprosy
  • Tooth Decay
  • Father of all Spice Girls
  • Communism
  • Internet Porn
  • New Coke/Crystal Clear Pepsi
  • Disco
  • UPN/The WB
  • Ganstaz
  • Feminists
  • Harassed Paula Jones
  • Kennedy Assassination
  • World Trade Center/Oklahoma City
  • Took the virginity of all Hanson's members
  • Giga Pets
  • Glitter
  • Green Day
  • Non-alcoholic beer
  • Hang Nails
  • 55 cent Big Mac
  • Butt Hair
  • Premature Ejaculation
  • Ugly Blind Dates
  • Bad Hair Days
  • David Spade
  • Chris Rock
  • Mtv
  • Political Correctness
  • Vegetarians
  • Ingrown Toenails
  • Trailer Parks
  • Latrell Spreewell
  • Bike Helmets
  • Diarrhea
  • Drove the white fiat that killed Princess Di
  • Emptied Jon Denver's gas tank
  • Gave Mother Theresa a heart attack
  • Shot Kurt Cobain
  • Killed 2pac and Biggie
  • Elvis's Drug Dealer
  • Blood in urine
  • Fleas
  • scabies
  • Current state of the radio
  • Jay Leno's head writer
  • Louise Woodward's lawyer
  • Leaky radiators
  • Flat cola
  • Invented the wobbiling shopping cart wheel
  • Screwed up fast food orders
  • Holiday Weight Gain
  • PMS
  • Fed Chris Farley fudge non-stop for 12 hours
  • The Jenny McArthy Show
  • Saturday night Live
  • Was once knows as Judas
  • and so much more................

    You can email El Nino! He usually responds with an email bomb, though. His address is I_am_el_nino@hotmail.com I would not recomend bothering him.